Finally, I had just about given up.  I figured that this was too big for me and I had better things to do with my life.

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Then I had a dream...

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I have grown up as an evangelical, fundamentalist, cessationist all my life.  While I believe in the gifts of the spirit, there are many things that I was taught aren't for today, yet I saw glimpses of them.  Someone miraculously healed, someone else preaching with supernatural power, ect.

Then it happened to me. I had a dream that was so vivid that I woke up three times that night only to have subsequent similar dreams.

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I dreamed that I was at a large gathering, like a party and we were waiting for the guest of honor to arrive.  As the guest of honor came in, many of the people stepped back, and some ran away and hid, and as the guest came around the corner, an attendant told me that the Lord was appearing in this form so I could talk with him.  In front of me was a very tall man, who was muscular and bald and had two kind eyes and a third eye that was always watching me.  He had on some plain brown pants and a dusty pink shirt.  As he looked at me, He piercingly asked: "aren't you the one who should be planting?"

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The dream frightened me so much because He spoke directly into my heart.  I instantly bolted awake.

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I calmed down and went back to sleep and the dream continued.  We were sitting together in a room and I told the Lord about everything I had envisioned for The Discipleship Center, about all the things I had studied, about how much I wanted to help people, and about all the things that were concerning me.  He just sat there and listened.  I asked if I should dare to do this thing or not.  I didn't get much of an answer, He just nodded His head.  I don't know if this was a nod that He was listening, or that He was thinking, or that He approved. Just the nod was enough to jolt me out of sleep again.

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The next dream was very foggy except it was just like the first dream and I was told that no one would understand this dream but that I was the one that "should be planting the seeds".

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Now I didn't know what to do because if I go tell my family, they'll think I'm crazy.  If I tell my Pastor, he'll think I'm crazy.  If I tell my wife she'll think I'm crazy.  The whole idea IS CRAZY, but I can't put my vision or the dream out of my head.

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Could it be that I'm so fixated with The Discipleship Center that I conjured up the dream in my own head, or could it be that God knows that I am a timid man and I would never have the courage to move forward without Him pushing me?